I’m a firm believer that our dreams are our subconscious trying to communicate with us in the only way it knows how—through symbols. Our subconscious knows us better than we know ourselves, and it makes up a significant part of our thinking capacity, always striving for what’s best for us (hopefully!). It’s worth paying attention to.

In the past, I tried using dream analysis books that claim to decode dream symbols, but they never resonated with me. Over the last decade, I’ve developed my own method for interpreting dreams, one that focuses on emotions and matching emotional states to uncover the underlying symbolism. This approach has worked so well for me and has deepened my understanding of myself and the world around me, and now I want to share it with you.

Dreams Are All About Emotions

It didn’t surprise me when I heard a sleep scientist say that studies show dreams are primarily about helping us process and manage our emotions. When I recall my dreams, it’s not just the events I remember, but the powerful emotions—emotions that go beyond the usual suspects of love, hate, anger, and jealousy. These are rich, complex feelings that can be hard to label.

Years ago, I discovered that these emotions are the key to unlocking the meaning of your dreams. Here’s how it works: Start by recalling a small part of your dream, maybe just a few seconds, and pay close attention to how you feel. Are you anxious? Happy? Angry? Focus on that feeling and let it wash over you.

Now, think about an object in the dream. Does the emotion match it? If not, feel the new emotion that comes up. Really connect with it. Then, think about various things that this object might symbolize to you and see if it aligns with the emotion. When you hit the right symbol, you’ll often experience an emotional “eureka” moment, a clear sense of alignment.

For instance, in a recent dream, I encountered a big red wall, freshly painted but no longer wet, clearly blocking my path. I felt slightly frustrated by the obstruction. Upon waking, I started to ponder what that wall might symbolize. Oddly, thinking about the bright red wall filled me with joy—a kind of happiness about how strong, new, and attractive it was. It felt like a sturdy wall anyone would be proud of, something dependable.

I then considered other associations with the color red. Blood? No, the emotions didn’t match. Blood felt neutral, utilitarian. Anger? No, that didn’t fit either. Roses? That was closer, but still not quite right. Then I thought of my girlfriend’s new red dress—a stunning, crisp dress. Emotionally, this felt very close, but not exact.

Finally, I thought about my girlfriend herself. Eureka! The emotion fit perfectly. The red wall symbolized her. But why would my girlfriend be a wall? That didn’t sound very nice. However, when I reconsidered my feelings about the wall, I realized it brought me joy, pride, and happiness. As walls go, this one was pretty great—it just wasn’t in the right place, or rather, I wasn’t in the right place, and the wall was blocking me from something.

String the Emotions Together

In the dream, I wanted to get past the wall. I considered climbing over it or breaking through it, but I didn’t want to damage this wall I liked so much. Then, I noticed a section of the wall opened like a door. What a relief! I could just walk right through.

I focused on the emotions of frustration followed by relief. I ran different scenarios through my mind to see which one matched these emotions. When I realized that thinking the wall was a barrier was only in my head, it felt exactly right.

In short, my dream was telling me that my girlfriend isn’t an obstacle to the things I want. Instead, she’s a strong, attractive presence that brings joy and happiness. While it might take some minor maneuvering around her, she isn’t an obstacle in any real sense. Writing this down, I see how perfectly it fits the emotions I experienced in the dream. It’s a sense of exact fit.

Practice, Practice, Practice

This method is a powerful way to understand your dreams, but it takes practice. Perhaps the most challenging part is truly connecting with the emotion your dream evokes—reliving that moment and feeling as you did in the dream. Once you’ve done that, bringing up other thoughts and seeing if they match the emotion becomes easier, but it still requires practice.

One piece of advice: don’t assume you’ve understood the meaning just because the emotion seems close. Recognizing that the emotion is close is great and shows you’re on the right track, but you’re not there yet. When you hit the right symbol, it’s a complete “eureka!” moment where you suddenly know you’ve found the exact match. It’s like a light bulb turning on, revealing the truth.

Figuring out what one thing in your dream symbolizes can take five or ten minutes. Working through long and complex dreams can take an hour or more.

Worth the Time

As I said at the beginning, understanding what our dreams symbolize helps us unlock the vast intelligence within our subconscious. A subconscious that knows everything we know and, hopefully, is looking out for our best interests. I’ve found that my subconscious sees important patterns that my conscious mind misses. Once I understand the symbols in my dreams, new ways of looking at the world open up to me.

In the case of this dream, I realized that my recent thoughts about my girlfriend being an obstacle to achieving my goals were simply wrong. In fact, with a bit of minor maneuvering, I have a strong, attractive presence that brings me joy just by being there.

Understanding your dreams can help clear away misconceptions and reveal where your true feelings lie. In my book, this is time very well spent.